comedy through the ages

14
the age i was when
i loved you so much
i told you everything
i lost you
i lost myself
i was torn apart
15
the age i was when
i got my first job
i was harassed continuously by an older man
i started being completely responsible for myself
i started to spiral downward
i was still heartbroken and felt alone
16
the age i was when
i still didn't know how to put the pieces back together
i got my second job
i moved again
i wanted to quit school
i missed you so much it hurt
i couldn't stop crying
i had no money
i was hardly eating
i was living in a house that had the electricity and water turned off every other month
i was falling apart even more
17
the age i was when
i moved again
i trusted the wrong people
i really wanted to quit school
i realized that i couldn't count on anyone
i felt hopeless
18
the age i was when
i wanted to believe in love
i wanted to feel special
i wanted to trust people
i wanted to be happy
i still wasn't happy
i still wasn't whole
i still hurt so badly
i was betrayed by my family
i was hurt by lies and fakes
i was looking for more

what now

What now?
What now my dear?
You are not listening I fear

to the sounds of growing up
lost in the rumble of trying to jump
back to the past
because it went too fast

what now?
what now my dear?
You are not listening I fear

to the words escaping my mouth
paying attention to the back and forth
of your parents hurtful words
wishing you were a bird

what now?
what now my dear?
You are not listening I fear

for you are too busy
making things messy
attempting to distract yourself
from the fact that you're all by yourself

What now?
What now my dear?
You are not listening I fear

to the path
let's do the math
one road that holds your dreams
one road that doesn't gleam

listen to your heart
it knows the rhythm of this part
trust it
as you see fit.