Thoughts on thoughts....... Here are my thoughts tonight. How have I become this person? How have I become so overwhelmed with anxiety, panic, sadness? I am tired of feeling this way. I'm not sure how to change that. How do I battle it? I just don't know. I also wonder how people view me. My motto is to not care about what people think about me. I try not to let what people think of me bother me. What has me thinking this? Why my brother of course. Again, my brother introduced me as mean. Several times when he introduced me to strangers he called me vindictive, manipulative, evil, and mean. I don't understand this. I am typically a nice person but I can be a smart ass and I can pick on people. But everyone does that. But anyway, it got me wondering how people view me. I suppose I can see a resemblance between me and the Gail character on Rookie Blue. I am sarcastic, quick to speak before I think sometimes, and I can be a bit cold at times. Life has caused me to become this way. The hard times, the sad times, the difficult times have hardened me I suppose. I just wonder if I am mean, vindictive, or rude. Will this hold me back from forming meaningful relationships?

OCD

Having OCD sucks. It might cause me to wash my hands seven times in a row or click the pen in even numbers. It's a constant procession of repeated thoughts, worries, and fears. It's a knotted feeling in the center of the chest that flutters, shakes, and expands sparking a panic attack. Hyperventilating between sobs, tunnel vision, weakness, and the overpowering thoughts that threaten to rip you apart.