Yesterday I started writing just to write. I was going to elborate on a story I had started but it didn't feel right. So I start on this new work. I wrote whatever came to mind. As I was writing it gradually started to take on more of my memories of my mom's illness. The things I felt, the things I thought she felt, the time, the sadness. This caused me to remember the pain of everyone involved. It hurt. It made me sad. It made me angry.
Anyway, I was thinking about her again today. Rehashing some feelings, comtemplating how things could/would have been different. I was just thiking of my mother.
I went into this store that has a collection of random things. It's where I got my camera and typewriter from. I was drving past and thinking about going in. I have homework to do and so I debated with myself. Should I go see if I find anything I want in the store? Or should I be responsible and go home and do my homework?
I made a U-turn at the light and went to the store. I went first to the camera section because I want a Brownie camera. I looked around at the small wooden boxes because I love them for some odd reason. Then I made me way to the mountains of records. I stopped by this area with mirrors and chairs first. There on the table I saw the same mirror that my mother had bought my sister and I for Christmas a long, long time ago. I stopped and looked at it. It isn't an expensive or old mirror. It shouldn't really be in a store about "collectibles". I obviously thought of my mom. I drove home and pulled into the driveway. And a single bird flew from my house as I parked. I'm sure only the people close to my family know what that means to us. I didn't even really see it happend at the time I am referring to but it still means something. I go unlcok my front door and there's a flier for a church or something religious. I am not a religious person so I will leave that as a coincidence to inspire me to keep believing in what I believe. I believe sometimes coincidences are a way to remind us that feeling is okay but dwelling is not. It take it as a reminder of the love from my mother and other things I won't go into.
I should actually do my homework now.
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