Happy Thanksgiving.

On this day of thanks I am thinking of my mother. I am remembering various Thanksgivings with her and how she would spend hours cooking dinner for all of us. As I attempt to cook a meal and fail fairly terribly I think of my mother. I miss her. But I am thankful that I had her.

Nouns and nos

I didn't think about it before but now that you brought it to my attention I can't stop thinking about it. I am really starting to like the idea but I'm afraid it's just the idea that I like and not the noun that goes with it. But the noun is pretty appealing too. When I stop and think about it that is. But there are a lot of verbs and adjectives that aren't so nice that go right along with said noun. I wish I could stop thinking about it because it is seriously driving me crazy. If I try that's a bad idea. If I don't that's generally the way I go. I am curious of how I would be with that noun. Maybe nice? But maybe not? And then there's the other noun that I can't tell if it's referring to me and if so I feel bad. I never asked for this. In fact I'm pretty sure that I have built myself up to be protected from it. What should I do?

November 6th

So, yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of my mother's passing. I truly can not believe that it has been 10 years. It seems like only a few years ago not 10. Often on November 6th I am very sad. I might cry. I might be really depressed. I might be withdrawn. This year I wanted to celebrate my mother's life. I wanted my family to all get together on this one day and talk about my mom. We never talk about our mom. I don't know why. I often feel this overwhelming need and desire to talk about my mom but I don't really have anyone to turn to. If I bring her up I run the risk of hurting everyone else. Yesterday, I didn't cry. I didn't break down. I felt okay. Which is the most ridiculous way to feel on that day. Isn't it? I take some comfort in my reaction. Everyday is another day without my mother. That probably sounds odd. It's just this crazy, awkward, sad, stomach dropping, skin tingling feeling occurs when thinking about my mother being gone so long, thinking about the ten years that I have faced without her, and the years without her. It's sad and difficult. I think my mom would actually be proud of me for not breaking down. I just hope I can keep it up.

It's just crazy that it has been so long.

Books have souls to bare, lives to share, and time to spare

Books are the things with feathers
That perches in your soul... (Isn't that what Emily Dickinson said?)

Books are amazing things but they are also dreadful things. Maybe I am the only weird one who feels this way. That is a complete and likely possibility. Each book gives us a glimmer of life for each character.

It permits us to see Chloe fall in love with Derek, in Kelley Armstrong's Darkest Powers Series, even though Chloe doesn't see it herself. "When I thought of Derek leaving, the ground seemed to slide under my feet..."

It shows us the terrible inner struggle that Annabel Greene fights everyday in Sarah Dessen's Just Listen. "There comes a time in every life when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn to know the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying..."

The words of Lisa Tucker startle us with the horrific truth of Patty Taylor's life in Shout Down the Moon and the mistakes we watch Patty make cause her intense pain that makes us nearly cry. "He grabs the belt loops of my shorts and spins me around. I'm out of breath, but I manage to scream, "Let me go"....."

Lois Duncan's Ransom conjures the emotions of a boy with a underdeveloped arm and lifetime of mental scars. We see Dexter and Jesse push each other away only to realize they understand each other far better than anyone else can. "Jesse sat in silence, gazing down at the boy before her, at the sturdy man's body with the wasted, underdeveloped arm and shoulder no bigger than a child's. So this is the reason, she thought. This is the reason for all the anger, the defensiveness, the bitterness. This is the reason for Dexter Barton..."

The House Next Door oozes Emma's need for understanding, acknowledgement, and love. She's lost in a world, beautifully written by Richie Tankersley Cusick, where she longs for the love that makes her feel whole. "I miss the way he loved me. I miss the way I was special to him..."

Our devotion to the ones we love and our desire to keep them safe is expertly portrayed by Joan Lowery Nixon in Murdered, My Sweet. ""I did listen to you," I said. "You promised to protect Mom's reputation, and I believed you..."

Words are immeasurable in the effects they have on people. Good or bad, words have the possibility to inspire a profound reaction. Words put the reader into the world of the character. They allow us to hear, see, feel, and observe the world the character faces. We relate to the emotional state, we endure the painful dialogue, we flinch at the disturbing experiences the characters go through. We compare these lives to our own lives and then we spot the differences. The feelings we've never felt but long to experience in person. The unity we do not have that we crave so badly. The sense of family that we are missing that makes us want to weep. Words are powerful. Words are moving. Words are much more than simple things on paper.

Praise

Well, as you can see I have not been doing a good job of keeping up on this here blog. And for goodness sake's it is Women's History Month. I should be blogging about all the great women and all the great things they have done. Instead, I have left this poor blog to sit in awkward boredom. My apologies blog.

I should be expressing my utmost thanks to the women of earlier generations. The women who fought for the right to vote, burned their bras in protest, and made it okay for women to be smart (or in my case want to be).

Louisa May Alcott
Susan B. Anthony
Elizabeth Blackwell
Maya Lin
Dr. Sally Ride
Margaret Sanger
Margaret Thatcher
Harriet Tubman
Victoria Woodhull

Behind every great movement in history is a strong, intelligent woman.

Thank you women whose names are in textbooks and women who worked their lives toward a goal and did not get their names into our school lesson plan. Thank you for working hard. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for being strong enough, smart enough, loud enough, and brave enough to make change happen.

Women Inventors

From www.women-inventors.com:

Mary Anderson
Inventor of Windshield Wipers

Barbara Askins
Inventor of a New Film Developing Method

Dr. Grace Murray Hopper
COBOL Computer Language

Mary Phelps Jacob
Inventor of the Modern Brassiere

Poem by Charlotte Scadeng

Featured on: http://www.dailyinfo.co.uk/dailyinfo/antivalpoetry.htm

VALENTINE SHMALENTINE
All the kissing couples
And the teddy bears in mugs.Annoying shaped balloons.
And big pink cards that promise hugs.
Cupid's arrow didn't hit
Me anywhere this year.
So me, myself and I will
Drown our sorrows in some beer.
The 14th of the 2nd month
Is just another day.
So why the crazy air of love?
It just gets in the way.
I'd rather go out with my friends
Or sit at home and read.
I'd like a boyfriend, yes I would.
But its not a desperate need.
So "down wiv valentiney things"
"Down wiv love" I say.
Down with all the bears in mugs
ITS JUST ANOTHER DAY!!
Charlotte Scadeng

A poem by Joanna Fuchs (whoever you are)

Valentine Smile
On Valentine's Day we think of those
Who make our lives worthwhile,
Those gracious, friendly people who
We think of with a smile.
I am fortunate to know you,
That's why I want to say,
To a rare and special person:Happy Valentine's Day!
By Joanna Fuchs