Classic

It's funny. Right after I read a good book I feel a mini revolution going on inside me. I read a lot of young adult books and I can see the thoughts inside someones head when I tell them this. Okay, I can't actually see the thoughts but I have a very good idea of what those thoughts are. You're right I am very much an adult. Maybe I should read Jane Austen or hell, even Little Women but I have never been a classic kind of girl. I feel judged by the books I read and well maybe that's fair because I sometimes judge people by what they read. I know what my reading lists says about me. But those points can be argued.

I just read most of a book about a girl who is essentially orphaned and must live with her brother; because of this their relationship changes. It is about a girl trying to be brave enough to handle her emotions and feelings. She's in a scary world and she's trying to survive it. Unfortunately the way she tries to survive is not a healthy outlet. There's a lot of honesty in the book and so maybe I am feeling that. Honesty.

I know my bookshelf that I am looking at right now is filled with books that the average person would be quick to overlook. It is filled with young adult books, books I want to read but haven't, books I want to read but probably won't, books that were my mothers, books that helped me through my teenage years. I am an awkward person and I was an even more awkward teen. I think that's the way a lot of people still see me. I have this weird thing where the people closest to me don't really know me. It's bizarre and quite sad. Sometimes I just feel myself close up, block secrets from coming out. Then there are times when I can't shut up. I don't always want to tell every thing that I am feeling but I do anyway because I feel compelled to do so. I'm undecided on how I feel about that.

If someone is inspecting my books to explain who I am here's what they would get:
Lois Duncan: supernatural themes with strong characters and bonds and love.

Richie Tankersley Cusick: creative stories. strong characters. love. friendship. personal understanding.

Joan Lowery Nixon: a lot of old work. crimes that are solved too easily. families pulling apart and pushing back together. love but not too much. personal knowledge and confidence. girls that make me feel okay to be me because they are like me in small little ways.

These three authors are three of my favorites. Lois Duncan is a woman I admire. Her strength is shown in her stories. Her characters make you feel like they could be your best friend. You fall in love with them and appreciate them as the type of people you wish you knew more of. Richie Tankersley Cusick is a woman who writes intricately. Her stories are often associated with supernatural elements even when they turn out to be merely false themes. Her stories are good, page turners, stay up late to finish this great book books. Filled with characters you wish were real. Joan Lowery Nixon a woman I admire and respect. A woman whose stories have won many awards. Her writings are quite dated as they were written ages before cell phones and computers took over the world. Kids these days probably won't understand her and that makes me sad. I do remember one girl I have encountered years ago who was maybe early teens. I expressed Joan Lowery Nixon as one of my favorite authors and the young girls mother said "it's hers too." Nixon's work has this sincere truth. You can see the time she grew up in affected her writing. Her stories aren't about piling on love and lust. They are mainly about girls who are beautiful whether they know it or feel it. Girls who solve crimes and mysteries for themselves. Girls who have morals and backbones. Her stories almost make me feel like I was born in the wrong time period. They leave you wishing you were one of those beautiful, strong girls.

I admire these writers, these women. They had stories to tell and they did just that. There's a part of us in our writing. The tough part is trying to keep it as concealed and hidden as possible. It's harder than you would think.

Back to the book I mentioned earlier. The one that got me writing this speech. I could feel the girls emotions because I have had them. I still do. Maybe being able to relate to these books makes me immature. Maybe loving to read young adult novels shows the world I am not very smart. I can tell people think that when I tell them as well. Maybe it gives me away entirely. But you know what? You can't please everyone.

I am not a classics kind of girl although I wish I were. I wish I read and memorized lines from the classics. I wish I could discuss them at length with people. But no matter how hard I try I am just not built to be a classics kind of girl.