Sunday, June 14, 2009

A neverending cycle of the same damn feelings makes me feel like a broken record that no one wants to hear

Realizing you will never have a mother again is quite a hefty thought. Of course my mother will always be my mother but she is no longer here to be my mother. maybe that doesn't make sense. It does to me. This fact is a hard one to survive. Many people take their parents for granted. They are used to them always being there. But what happens when they are not?

For me I am still reeling in the emotion of not being a daughter any more. I no longer have a mother to hold me close and tell me everything will be alright. I don't have a mother I can turn to for help with the big decisions and emotions that come a long with not fully knowing yourself. I no longer have a mother to pour my heart out to instead I'm doing that here for the public to see, if they take the time to read this. Which I hope they do because if I can relate to a book someone can relate to me and I hope my story can help someone feel a little closer to okay. As I deal with and express my story I feel a little closer to okay too.

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